Take Off the Pressure: 7 Creative Experiences to Try with Your Loved One with Dementia

I heard a great story on NPR last week about a program that encourages creativity among people with Alzheimer’s disease as a medium for meaningful, enjoyable communication with others. In the TimeSlips program, a facilitator shows folks a photo and encourages them to make up a story about the characters in the picture. Without the pressure of remembering who people are or what is supposed to be happening (as might happen when you’re looking at a family scrapbook), someone with memory loss can have a fun time making up a story about someone else’s life. Plus, as one researcher pointed out in the NPR piece, you don’t have to be a trained therapist to try out storytelling with your loved one. In fact, you can try it out for yourself on the TimeSlips website.

I really love this concept, because it lines up with two ideas that I preach all the time:

  1. Creative activities – music, storytelling, dance, art – are universal human experiences that can be meaningful, even for a person with memory loss.
  2. Caregivers can engage in creative activities with their loved ones as a means of connecting with them.

Creative activities take the pressure off of both the caregiver and the person with memory loss. The person with memory loss may really want to remember the details of their personal history or their current circumstances, just as much as the caregiver wants them to remember, and knowing that they can’t remember can cause anxiety. At the same time, the caregiver is often distressed by their loved one’s declining ability to remember things. Each person’s anxiety can feed into the other person’s anxiety, and then time spent together is all about worry and fear instead of simple, fun, meaningful experiences.

When you’re making up something new, though, you don’t have to remember the details. The pressure is off both people. You don’t have to worry about creating a “stupid story” or “improvising wrong,” because the whole point is making up something new, in the present moment – something that only needs to last for the present moment, not for an eternity of literary critics and art historians.

You simply get to enjoy the act of creation. 

So, I had the fun of creating a list of creative experiences to try with your loved one. Continue reading →

Song Spotlight: “Smile” – In Honor Of Mental Health Awareness Month

  • Mood: Melancholy, Warm
  • Theme: Smiles, Looking to the Future, Dealing with Difficulties
  • Tempo: Moderate
  • Genre: Ballad

May is Mental Health Month, and today people all over the country are blogging about mental health issues today. (You can read more and see a list of other posts on the topic here.) For my part, I am focusing on mental health issues among older adults.

First, a few statistics. According to the CDC, approximately 20% of people age 55 and older experience some type of mental health concern. Depression is the most common mental health problem among older adults. Depression causes emotional distress, of course, but it can also lead to impairments in physical, mental and social functioning, and it complicates the treatment of other chronic conditions. Older adults with depression use more medication, visit the doctor and ER more often, have longer hospital stays, and generally incur higher medical expenses than their peers. Depression can also lead to suicide, and in fact, older men have the highest suicide rate of any age group, more than four times the overall rate for all ages.

Now, here’s the kicker. Depression is NOT a normal part of growing older, even though the rate of older adults with depression tends to increase with age. In fact, in 80% of cases, it’s treatable. Depressive disorders are widely under-recognized, and untreated or under-treated among older adults. (You can read the full CDC report here.)

Why is depression pervasive among older adults? And why the common misconception that depression is a normal part of aging?

I’m not a physician and I can’t claim to know the ins and outs of the physiological changes that contribute to depression among the elderly. What I have seen, though, is probably what you’ve seen and experienced: older adults experience many losses, sometimes without adequate social support to deal with them. The passing of spouses and friends, retirement from a meaningful career, declines in physical or cognitive abilities, children and grandchildren living far away, fewer financial resources – the pressures and stress of all of these circumstances can contribute to depression. Add to that the fact that American society doesn’t really value elders the way other societies do – no wonder depression can become such a problem.

That brings us to our song spotlight: “Smile.” Continue reading →

Song Spotlight: “Mama Tried”

Migrant Mother, Nipomo, California – Dorothea Lange

  • Mood: Regretful, Defiant, Wistful
  • Theme: Regret, Motherhood/Parenting
  • Tempo: Moderately Fast
  • Genre/style: Classic Country

Mother’s Day is coming up in a few days, and in honor of the holiday, I’ve been sharing many songs about motherly advice and love with clients in music therapy. In fact, a few that I’ve spotlighted before work well for this holiday, including Que Sera Sera, Shoo Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy, Cuddle Up a Little Closer and Button Up Your Overcoat (although it’s a bit warm for that last one. Maybe it would work in the southern hemisphere?)

The fact is, though, that Mother’s Day isn’t always the happiest day, for the children or for the mothers. My heart goes out to mothers who have lost their children and children who have lost their mothers, as I know they are grieving at this time. My heart also goes out to the women who desperately want to be mothers but who have struggled with infertility or miscarriages. These losses leave holes in our lives that cannot be papered over.

And, I’m also thinking about the mothers who have been disappointed by their children. Parenting always involves ups and downs as children grow and life happens. Sometimes things don’t work out for the best, and sometimes children make serious and lasting mistakes, no matter how hard their parents tried to raise them well. This causes a different kind of pain, especially when you think that you are the reason why your child turned out this way. I’ve known mothers of adult children who have experienced this kind of pain. I’ve also heard the regret of folks who disappointed their mothers, who made those lasting mistakes and now can’t repair the damage. That’s the topic of this song spotlight: “Mama Tried.” Continue reading →

A Musical Response for When a Senior Says, “I Just Want to Die”

I just read an article on how a caregiver can respond to a senior who is saying, “I just want to die.” I appreciate the advice given by Margaret Sherlock, M.A., Clinical Director of the Behavioral Health Program & Assessment Program Services at the Visiting Nurse Service of New York, which includes not ignoring the statements and being realistic about a senior’s need to talk about death and dying, while still setting limits on such heavy discussions and monitoring for signs of clinical depression in both the senior and in yourself. You can read all of her advice here.

This is sound advice, but I do think there is one important piece missing: you must think about how to deal with all of the emotions you and your loved one are both feeling. In fact, this kind of conversation can be so emotional for both the senior and the caregiver that it can be difficult to tell who is feeling what. You might think, is this person feeling depressed? Or is he just ready to die? Or is this person saying she wants to die because she wants to make me upset or get more attention from me? Or am I interpreting all of this wrong because I am the one who is feeling sad, or tired, or frustrated? Or maybe it’s a mixture of all of the above feelings, and I’m not really sure how to put words to it?

Even just trying to identify these feelings is difficult. No wonder these emotional conversations can wear you out! As Ms. Sherlock advised, though, you can’t just sweep the difficult feelings under the rug: they’ll just build up and create bigger problems for you and the senior later on. That’s why I’m usually not a fan of just changing the topic or putting on happy music to avoid the conversation.

When someone says, “I just want to die,” you need to acknowledge their emotional expression and honor your own. Continue reading →

5 Playlists Every Caregiver Should Have on Their iPod

Creating personalized playlists on an iPod is not the same as music therapy, but it is an awesome way to help with easing caregiving routines, encouraging exercise, and sparking interesting discussions. Here are the five playlists that I think every caregiver should have on their iPod:

1. Music for waking up and getting ready Continue reading →

Shall We Dance? When the therapist is vulnerable, too.

Here’s a tale of a music therapist becoming vulnerable in order to fully engage in the musical process with a client.

Warning: If you thought therapists should be somehow all-knowing and perfect, you should stop reading here.

A new member joined a monthly music therapy group that has been going for a few years now. He told me his name, and he participated in the first few musical experiences we shared as a group. Then I turned on a recording of B.B. King’s “Rock Me Baby,” encouraging the group to play drums and other rhythm instruments along with the music. I intended to provide hand-over-hand assistance to some of the residents who needed more help in playing their instruments. Once the music kicked on, though, this new resident could not stay in his seat, and he stood up, made a bee line for me, and asked me for a dance. Continue reading →

Song Spotlight: “When the Red, Red Robin (Comes Bob, Bob, Bobbin’ Along)”

  • Mood: Cheerful, Jaunty
  • Themes: Signs of Spring, Birds, Feeling Happy
  • Tempo: Moderate (Andante)
  • Genre/style: 1920s popular song

Today’s song spotlight is one of my favorite songs to herald the coming of springtime. It’s also great for inspiring a cheerful mood. The song? “When The Red, Red Robin Comes Bob, Bob, Bobbin’ Along” Continue reading →

Music Therapy Does More Than Address Non-Musical Goals: Part Two

In my last post, I started explaining how music therapy is different than other forms of therapy that also address goals like pain management, increased socialization, and decreased anxiety:

Music therapy involves music.

Not only does music therapy involve music, but music is what you do in music therapy. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that the music experience is what makes pursuing music therapy worth it in the first place, even without considering progress towards “non-musical goals.” Those goals are important for sure, and we music therapists take care to assess those needs and measure progress. We also have research showing that music therapy interventions can be more effective than other interventions in making that progress. Still, if those goals were the only aim of therapy, then sometimes it would be much easier to take a pill or spend more time with another therapist than to spend time (and money) on music therapy.

The music experience is inseparable from music therapy. Attaining those meaningful music experiences is one goal of music therapy.

What is the role of the music therapist, then? In my last post, I talked about how one of my jobs as a music therapist is to help you get your music out. Here are two more ways that I can help you in my role as music therapist: Continue reading →

Music Therapy Does More Than Address Non-Musical Goals: Part One

The idea of music therapy can be confusing. What does a music therapist do, exactly? A common answer is to say we use music to address non-musical goals. For example, we might employ a particular method to help someone regain walking speed after a stroke, or to help someone express and explore their feelings of anger, guilt, and sadness following a divorce.

This description – using music to address non-musical goals – is truthful, I think, but it’s also incomplete. Our focus is not only on physical, emotional, and social goals.

As music therapists, we’re also there to help you create, enjoy, experience, and live music. Then, through the music, people can find many other positive outcomes. Continue reading →

The MUVE Method: DVD Review and Giveaway

Do you ever feel stuck in your body? Like maybe the aches and pains are causing your body to curl in upon itself or you have a ball of stress sitting in your stomach that just won’t unknot? If so, here’s something that might help:

Dancing.

Moving to music.

There are many ways you can use music to get moving, whether for exercise or for a more expressive movement experience, as I’ve discussed on this blog before. Still, it can be hard to let go of all the inhibitions our culture promotes (“I don’t want to look silly! I can’t dance! I’ve got two left feet!”) and just move. Plus, when you’re dancing in your living room, it’s easy to run out of ideas for how to dance and just give up. (Confession: I dance in my living room. My daughter loves it!)

Enter MUVE. Created by Maggie Kunkel, MUVE is a method that helps you to let go and let the music guide your movements. Using recordings by musicians native to her home state of Hawaii and the Pacific, Maggie and her intergenerational team of Muvers lead spontaneous dancing inspired by the music. The center person, known as the Muse, shows various movements, and the viewers are encouraged to follow these loosely. Each MUVE dance is improvised – even the Muse is making it up on the spot. That means you, the viewer, can follow the Muse or make up your own moves.

Here are some of the pros and cons of this method as I see them:

PROS:

  • The music is beautiful. Even better, MUVE DVDs leave out the verbal instruction, so you can really be inspired by the music itself.
  • This method emphasizes moving at your own level. You’re reminded to make movements as big or small as you want, or to make your steps jumpy or not. The emphasis is on making YOUR body feel good, not matching a defined choreography. That’s freeing, I think.
  • The leaders demonstrate a great mix or movements large and small, fast and slow. Everyone should be able to find some inspiration for their own dancing.

CONS:

  • The visual images are a bit confusing. The graphics match up with MUVE principals like “enjoy music” and “elaborate.” I think that they’re supposed to provide additional inspiration for your movements, but I thought they were instructions I just didn’t know how to follow.
  • The movements may be too vigorous for some. The Mellow MUVE DVD includes tracks for seated movements, but even these might be too much some folks in skilled nursing. If you want to use the MUVE DVDs in your long-term care facility, I would recommend having an activity staff person there to demonstrate or adapt the movements in a way that is safe and accessible for the residents.

Overall, I enjoyed the MUVE DVDs and will likely continue to share them with my daughter as she grows. I loved the freedom to move my body in ways that felt good, without paying attention to how I looked or whether I was doing it “right.”

You can learn more about MUVE here and try it out for yourself with the free Dance Along Video Blog.

***This giveaway is now closed***

In addition, two lucky readers will receive their very own copies of a Muve DVD! I’m giving away one copy each of Family MUVE and Mellow MUVE. (The two are similar in style, with more seated movements in Mellow Muve. More details here.) Interested? Check out the Official Rules below, and enter by next Friday, April 6. Good luck!

Official Rules:

  1. You must be a U.S. resident age 18 or over to enter. No purchase necessary.
  2. You must complete two steps to enter:
    1. Enter your name and email address here.
    2. Leave a comment below saying whether you would prefer Family MUVE or Mellow MUVE and who would be Muveing with the DVD if you are the winner.
  3. Entries will be accepted until 5:00 pm CST Friday, April 6, 2012. Winners will be chosen using random.org and the number assigned in the comments section. The first winner will receive their preferred DVD and the second winner will receive the remaining DVD.
  4. Winners will be notified by email and will have 48 hours to respond before another winner is chosen.

Disclaimer: I have not been paid to review or promote this product, but the creator did provide review copies and DVDs for this giveaway.