Unleashing the Power of Age: Mary Delaney and Molly Peacock

May is Older Americans Month, and this year we’re celebrating the official theme “Unleash the Power of Age” with a series of posts recognizing people who have done some amazing creative work in their later years. This is the second in our four-part series. You can read the first post here.

This post is about two women, connected by art.

The first is Mary Delaney. Maybe you’ve never heard of her. I hadn’t – not until I picked up a library copy of The Paper Garden by Molly Peacock, our second subject for today’s post.

Subtitled “An Artist Begins her Life’s Work At The Age Of 72,” Peacock’s book is part biography and part memoir, as the author alternates between relating Delaney’s life story and contemplating how her discovery of Delaney’s life and work impacted the author’s own creative journey as a poet and writer. Both women’s stories are compelling, and both show just how powerful creative work in the second half of life can be.

Mary Delaney

Mary Delaney at age 82

Mary Delaney at age 82

Mary Delaney may not be a household name these days, but she did move in pretty high society in her time – 18th century England. Delaney grew up as a proper English noblewoman, with an aim towards marrying well. (Think “Pride and Prejudice.”) She did secure an advantageous marriage, except for the fact that she didn’t particularly like her husband, who was four decades her senior. Mary Delaney became a widow at the age of 24. The downside of that situation was that her late husband left her very little by the way of inheritance. The plus side, though, was that with her status as a widow, Delaney had a bit of freedom to move about society without as much pressure to find an advantageous marriage.

That freedom allowed Mary Delaney to marry for love, almost twenty years after the death of her first husband, to Irish clergyman Patrick Delaney. They had a happy marriage of twenty-five years, during which Mary Delaney really began digging into her creative side, designing elaborate country gardens, doing shellwork and needlework, and delving into painting.

When Patrick Delaney died, Mary Delaney was 68 years old and a widow for the second time. As one method to work through her grief, Mrs. Delaney made art. A few years after the death of her beloved, Mary Delaney began focusing on one type of artwork in particular: “paper mosaicks,” which were portraits of flowers made from cut paper. Mary Delaney’s mosaics were highly detailed and botanically accurate, using the tiniest pieces of paper and hand coloring to become authentic representations of their living models. Mrs. Delaney made nearly 1000 of these intricate, cut-paper depictions of plants, all between the age 71 and 88, when her eyesight finally failed her. Mary Delaney later died at the age of 88, leaving an impressive artistic legacy behind.

What is most remarkable about Mary Delaney’s story, I think, is when her “life’s work” really started. Mrs. Delaney spent seven decades being an 18th century English upper-class woman BEFORE she even started making the paper mosaics for which she is rightly remembered today. All of the experiences she had as a child in London, a young bride, a young widow, an older bride, and a widow again all played a part in the beautiful work she created in her 70s and 80s, even without the direct purpose of representing her life experiences in her art.

Molly Peacock


Molly Peacock really drives this point home in her biography of Mary Delaney, and, in fact, I found Delaney’s story all the more interesting when viewed through the lens of Peacock’s discovery of this story. We often think of art as something static, something that gets put away in a box in a museum so that people can occasionally gaze upon it before going on their merry way. But what if we let art move us? What if we let the art that others created centuries ago motivate and inspire our own creative self-exploration?

Peacock’s self-reflective passages in The Paper Garden provide a beautiful example of how old art can bring something new to our experiences in life today. Art can open up something powerful in each of us. Maybe it can even unleash the power of age – of all the stories and relationships and heartaches and joys that we’ve had over a lifetime.

So, my challenge for you is to answer two questions:

  1. What art moves you? (Visual art, film, music, dance – everything counts!)
  2. What would happen if you let the art move you further?

Please leave your thoughts below.

Unleashing the Power of Age: Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen

May is Older Americans Month, and this year we’re celebrating the official theme “Unleash the Power of Age” with a series of posts recognizing people who have done some amazing creative work in their later years.

Leonard Cohen is a poet and a songwriter who has been creating art since publishing his first volume of poetry in 1956. At the age of 78, Leonard Cohen’s career has already spanned almost six decades, and he is still having an impact on musicians and poets today.

Of course, some of Cohen’s most famous songs – such as “Hallelujah,” “I’m Your Man,” and “Bird on a Wire” – continue to impact younger artists, but what is even more remarkable is that Cohen is still producing music just as thought-provoking and powerful as the songs that made him famous decades ago. In this post, I’ll focus on Cohen’s most recent album, Old Ideas, released in January 2012.

Before I get into my impressions of Old Ideas, I do want to say that I haven’t really dug terribly deep into Leonard Cohen’s earlier albums. This album is my starting place for appreciating Cohen’s music. (It seems I often work backwards through artists’ work. See my previous posts on Glen Campbell and Loudon Wainwright for evidence of that.)

That being said, in this album, Cohen’s deep, scratchy, and barely-melodic voice sets the solemn, meditative tone, especially when contrasted with the angelic voices of back-up singers. The combination of voices is at the forefront of the music, with rather spare and simple accompaniment providing support while allowing the lyrics to ring through.

As for the lyrics, themes of mortality, memories of relationships past, and a wish for closure or reconciliation run through the entire album, defining the mood as solemn and reflective for the most part. Even the more upbeat tracks – “The Darkness” and “Banjo” come to mind – still feel like they’re in shadow.

Cohen also uses a lot of religious language (e.g. “the blood of the lamb” in “Amen” and “come healing of the spirit” in “Come Healing,”), which, combined with the angelic backup singers, makes some of these songs sound almost like a hymn. Considering that Cohen has always identified as a Jew, even after spending several years in a monastery and being ordained as a Zen Buddhist monk, these songs bring up spiritual and existential issues without speaking directly to particular religious traditions. People from many faith backgrounds may find truth in these songs.

Does all of this seriousness and darkness add up to an album worth avoiding? I don’t think so. While I won’t be adding any of these tracks to my Feel Good Playlist anytime soon, I do appreciate the emotional heft of these songs, and I think that they could provide a solid container for some of the more difficult feelings and ideas we have to contend with as humans, such as the notion of death and endings. Cohen’s album is solemn, but not depressing. It’s about endings and death, but it doesn’t feel like a funeral. Instead, this album portrays another side of aging and later life than the humorous defiance of Loudon Wainwright’s “Older Than My Old Man Now” and the courage in the face of hardship of Glen Campbell’s “Ghost on the Canvas.” Each of these perspectives has its own value and beauty to offer our world.

Above all, I admire Leonard Cohen’s continued creative work over a long career. May he continue creating works of beauty for years to come.

Are you familiar with Leonard Cohen’s work? Have you heard his latest album? Please leave your thoughts and comments below.

Song Spotlight: “April Showers”

April showers...

April showers…

  • Mood: Hopeful
  • Themes: Rain, flowers, happiness
  • Tempo: Moderately slow
  • Genre/Style: 1920s popular song

As I write this, it’s yet another rainy day at the end of April. After last summer’s drought, I am glad for the rain, but I am also very ready for springtime to be here in full force. So, the song “April Showers” has been on my mind.

With music by Louis Silvers and lyrics by B.G. De Sylva, “April Showers” was first made famous by Al Jolson and has been recorded by many people since then. Here are the lyrics for the chorus:

Though April showers may come your way,
They bring the flowers that bloom in May.
So if it’s raining, have no regrets,
Because it isn’t raining rain you know, it’s raining violets.
And where you see clouds upon the hills,
You soon will see the crowds of daffodils;
So keep on looking for a blue bird and list’ning for his song,
Whenever April showers come along.

I love this song for its rich imagery and its accessibility on both concrete and abstract levels.

First, the concrete. This song mentions violets, daffodils, and even the quintessential bluebird of happiness. Even the cliched phrase, “April showers bring May flowers” provides an entree to conversation with folks with various stages of cognitive impairment. This is one of many songs I introduce in music therapy sessions to encourage participants to talk about gardening or signs of spring. It’s also helpful for directing people’s attention to the current weather conditions, not to mention the date on the calendar.

...bring May flowers

…bring May flowers

But I love the abstract level of this song, too. The overriding message of this song is that even though times may be tough now, there will be better times to come. In other words, life has its seasons, too, some which are lovelier than others. Personally, I think this is a more realistic offer of hope than the message that you should just keep smiling, even if you’re feeling bad. Here, we acknowledge the April showers of life – the clouds, the storms, the grayness – while holding out hope for and expectation of spring – the beauty, the new life, the colors and birdsong. Sometimes, focusing on the fact that dealing with challenges can bring us even greater strength may be what we need to get through a particularly difficult time.

What do you think? Do you like the “April Showers” analogy to changing life circumstances? What else do you see in this song? Please leave your comments below!

This post is part of an occasional series on special songs to share with your loved ones. For more song spotlights, click here.

You Can’t Cheat Death

Person on bench in shadowAs the old saying goes, only two things in life are certain: death and taxes. Today is Tax Day in the U.S., so, well, there you go.

As for death, though, one North Carolina hospital is telling its potential customers that they can “cheat death.” Besides the inevitable billboards and flyers that go along with a corporate ad campaign, the hospital plans to partner with area restaurants to offer Cheat Death menus and local gyms to offer Cheat Death workouts. They’ll even have a social media campaign offering tips on how to cheat death.

I suppose I understand the desire of the powers that be to make a splash and get people talking about their hospital, but I must say that I am offended by this slogan. I also think that it sends the entirely wrong message.

Americans already detest thinking about death. We don’t even like thinking about sick people most of the time. Instead, we eat our superfoods and take our vitamins and run our marathons in the belief that we can put off aging and death, maybe forever.

The reality is that illness and death are just a part of life.

By denying death, we end up hurting people, by imploring our friends and family to keep fighting for life when it’s time to let go, or by being so uncomfortable that we cannot be there to comfort those who are grieving.

All of us will die one day, but that doesn’t mean death has to be scary or painful or ugly. As a hospice music therapist, I am part of a treatment team that helps people feel comfortable and secure at the end of life.

Endings can be beautiful, too.

In trying to think of a song or musical experience to bring another level of understanding to this idea, I thought of the song “Fix You.” Coldplay’s lyrics are very much open to interpretation, and I won’t attempt to say they mean anything specific about death or life or relationships.

Instead, I’ll simply offer this clip from the movie “Young@Heart,” about a chorus of older adults who sing contemporary music. In this clip, soloist Fred Knittle performs “Fix You” just a short time after the death of his friend Bob Salvini, the man who was supposed to sing it with him as a duet.

We can’t cheat death, but we can find the beauty at the end of life and cherish the moments we have together in the meantime.

Alzheimer’s and “Blowin’ in the Wind”

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Sandy Halperin, DDS

Today’s post comes from Alexander Sandy Halperin. Sandy is a husband, a father of two, and a prosthodontist by training. Sandy also has Alzheimer’s Disease. After a lifetime of public service and education, Sandy has now turned his energies towards advocating for on behalf of those with Alzheimer’s Disease, as a member of the National Alzheimer’s Association Early-Stage Alzheimer’s Advisory Group. (You can see even more of Sandy’s impressive background on LinkedIn.)

Sandy recently wrote a short post about Alzheimer’s advocacy, connecting it to the song “Blowin’ In The Wind.” He has given me permission to reprint it here.

Alzheimer’s and “Blowing in the Wind”

In thinking this morning about my having early-stage Alzheimer’s, the first song that comes to mind is “Blowing in the Wind” written by Bob Dylan and sung by him; Peter, Paul and Mary, and a bunch of others.

The National Alzheimer’s Association is holding its annual Advocacy Forum in Washington, DC on April 20-24th and I will be attending that meeting along with my daughter Karen and wife Gail. During that time, there will be many meeting and get-togethers of advocates, including my being able to meet with members of Congress and the Senate to express my personal feelings about awareness, the stigma/embarrassment that hugely surrounds having those that have the disease, and what I believe is needed — the nation’s leaders to declare a “War on Alzheimer’s” by substantially increasing the funding for what is the 6th leading cause of death in the U.S. One in three people who die in the U.S. have Alzheimer’s at the time of their passing.

As I sit with each member of Congress and the Senate in several weeks, I will probably ask them to get the true feeling what it would be like to sit in my chair versus theirs; with their having a cognitive problem (Alzheimer’s), or the fact that one of their family members or friends may have or get the horrible disease. Having them put my shoes on their feet may help them better understand what it is like having the early-stages of the disease, and for me not knowing what the future holds with regards to my cognitive health is tough — and that is along with millions and millions of others (patients and caregivers) that are coping with the disease. This is not about me and it is not the time for any member of Congress or the Senate to “turn their heads”.

So, I ask, is it the time for any member of Congress or the Senate to turn their head and look the other way, not paying attention to the dramatically growing numbers of individuals in the US that are diagnosed or will be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s – with a new diagnosis of somebody having Alzheimer’s every 68 seconds, whew! I do not intend on making this a political issue with any legislator, it is a serious health issue that faces our nation.

The time to act is right now – and to put as much muscle and dollars into the National Alzheimer’s Project Act (NAPA) and for additional curative research. Yes, there will be lots of meetings about the subject, but at the same time it is urgent to put initiatives and efforts into affect without unnecessary delays. The devastating statistics continue to pour in regarding Alzheimer’s and there is no time to delay tangible and caring actions.

Here are some of the lyrics to “Blowing in the Wind”:

“…Yes, how many times can a man turn his head
Pretending he just doesn’t see?

The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

Yes, how many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?

Yes, how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?

Yes, how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?

The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind…”

I want to express my appreciation to my family for assisting me in my writing…

…and I want to thank you for sharing your voice here, Sandy. We wish you the best of luck at the upcoming advocacy forum!

Top 10 Funny Songs for Seniors

Happy April! With April Fool’s Day starting the month, and the light, goofy feeling that comes with springtime, I can think of no better way to celebrate this new season than by singing some equally ridiculous songs. The goofy songs I list below are some of my favorites to share with music therapy clients when it’s time to lighten the mood.

10. Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off – you say “to-MAY-to,” and I say “to-MAH-to.”

9. A Boy Named Sue – you can’t beat Johnny Cash’s rendition of this family drama

8. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious – singing it is fun; trying to spell it – even better!

7. Too Fat Polka – a ridiculous reason to refuse to dance

6. New Horizons in Music Appreciation – for the classical music lovers, a play-by-play commentary on Beethoven’s 5th Symphony by Peter Schikele

5. If You’ve Got The Money, I’ve Got The Time – at least the singer is being honest.

4. Little Brown Jug – each verse is funnier than the last

3. Your Feets Too Big – Fats Waller’s classic song

2. It’s Hard To Be Humble – “…when you’re perfect in every way”

1. Mairzy Doats – I love this one, for the silly lyrics and the reactions it often brings from my older adult clients.

What are some of your favorite goofy songs for seniors?

Song Spotlight: “The Hallelujah Chorus”

Georg Frederic Handel was the composer of "The Hallelujah Chorus"

Georg Frederic Handel was the composer of “The Hallelujah Chorus”

Perhaps one of the most familiar pieces of classical choral music is the “Hallelujah Chorus” from The Messiah. We often hear this chorus performed around Easter and Christmas (and sometimes at comical lightbulb moments in movies and sitcoms).

The first time I performed the “Hallelujah Chorus” was as a high school freshman playing oboe in the school orchestra, and I have performed this piece either in the orchestra or the choir many times since. I still like it. I’m not the only one, either: this chorus has remained popular for more than 200 years.

“The Hallelujah Chorus,” as we know it now, is part of a much larger work by Georg Frideric Handel, first performed in 1741. The Messiah is an oratorio composed in three parts, all about the life of Christ. An oratorio is similar to an opera in that a story is told through music, with recitatives to share a lot of information, and choruses to expand musically on the grander ideas to be expressed in the work. Unlike an opera, however, an oratorio is performed without elaborate costumes and staging.

In The Messiah, the words primarily come from the King James version of the Bible. You can see the libretto with scriptural references here. The work is in English, but that doesn’t mean it is easy to sing. It still feels like quite a workout to perform this work, especially when singing several of the choruses in a row. Performing The Messiah can be a challenge for many choirs!

In the context of the entire oratorio, “The Hallelujah Chorus” comes at the end of the second part, which is devoted to telling about the Passion of Christ. In fact, the oratorio was first meant to recognize and celebrate Easter, although we often hear it performed around Christmas time these days. “The Hallelujah Chorus” recognizes the glorious end of the Passion story with equally glorious music. This glorious music, in turn, is perfect for Easter celebrations.

One final interesting tidbit about “The Hallelujah Chorus” is that traditionally, everyone stands when the chorus is played. The reason why is kind of funny in retrospect: at a performance in 1743, King George II of England was in attendance. When “The Hallelujah Chorus” began, the king stood up. Why? We don’t really know – maybe he needed to stretch his legs, or maybe he mistook the opening notes for the national anthem. In any case, you had to stand when the king stood, so everyone in the audience followed suit. We’re still following the king’s example today.

How does this piece of music fit in the music and wellness picture? Here are a few ideas:

  • The music is rich and full of energy, from the voices of the chorus to the strings and winds in the orchestra. Energetic music can inspire energy, for getting out of bed, cleaning the house, or doing exercise.
  • This song works well as a “soundtrack song.” Surely you have moments to celebrate, when things finally work out the right way, don’t you? You could pop this song to solidify the joy of that moment.
  • This song carries important theological and spiritual meaning for Christians. If Christian faith is important in your life, then this song can be very important, whether you hear it performed in a concert hall by professional musicians, or you listen to a recording with your loved one at the nursing home. This song says, “Easter,” so it supports the celebration of that special holiday.

What do you think of the “Hallelujah Chorus?” Have you performed this piece? What comes to mind when you hear it?

This post is part of an occasional series on special songs to share with your loved ones. For more song spotlights, click here.

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Last week, I had the honor of speaking about music for self-care at a Breakfast Club sponsored by the Alzheimer’s Association’s Heart of America chapter. This group of caregivers for people with Alzheimer’s disease gathers monthly at Research Medical Center in Kansas City, Missouri, to share a meal and provide support for each other in their caregiving journeys. Just from my one visit, it seemed like a very supportive community, where people could share their hardships and joys freely with others who understood. If you are in the Kansas City area, you can find more information here.I was there to share information about using music in caregiving, and especially about using music for self-care. We talked about choosing music for emotional and physical relaxation, exercising to music as a form of self-expression and stress relief, and how to practice techniques like deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation with music. After sharing all of this “how-to” information and including a couple of lovely experiences of music-assisted relaxation, though, I really think I left out a hugely important point:

Self-care isn’t selfish.Do you ever feel like this guy?

If you are a caregiver, you understand that two things are pretty certain to be part of the caregiving experience:

  1. Stress.
  2. Lack of time.

Constant worry about your care recipient, sleepless nights, changing behaviors and shifting moods, lack of support from family and friends, scarce time to yourself – all of these and more can be part of life as a caregiver. All of these stressors build up over months and years of caregiving, to the point where your own physical and mental health can start to suffer. Self-care must become part of the plan.

Maybe you object to this notion of self-care. “Oh sure,” you might say, “this is stressful, but stress is just a part of life. I can handle it.” Or maybe it’s, “no one else understands how Mom likes her dinner (or her bath, or her clothes, etc.) I have to be the one to do it.” Or maybe, “we’ve been married 60 years. How can I leave him now?”

The thing is, eventually, if you don’t take care of yourself, you will not only not be able to care for your loved one, but you may end up needing a lot of help yourself. It may feel selfish in the short-term to go out for dinner or take a nap while someone else watches over your loved one for a while. It may even feel selfish to take 10 minutes listening to music and breathing when there is laundry to be done and appointments to be scheduled. This isn’t true.

If you are putting in a lot of time and energy into caring for a family member or friend, then you are a caregiver. You need to take care of yourself, too. You cannot carry the weight of the world on your shoulders indefinitely.

Make the time for self-care, so that you and your loved one can stay healthier and happier for as long as possible.

What are your best ways to care for yourself if you only have 10 minutes? What if you had an hour? A day? Please leave your comments below.

Free and Legal Music Downloads from Freegal

Are you a patron of the Mid-Continent Public Libraries or Johnson County Public Library?

If so, I have a great way for you to save $150 in a year on music purchases.

Use Freegal.

Freegal is a music download service offered through local libraries. As a library patron, you can get up to three free tracks per week, downloaded to your computer to keep forever. (Yes, forever!)

I’ve been using this service for several months now and already have dozens of free songs to use in music therapy sessions and for my own listening pleasure. In fact, that’s where I’ve been downloading tracks from the artists featured in our Kansas City Jazz series: Bennie Moten, Charlie Parker, and Count Basie.

Here’s how to use Freegal:

1. Find out whether your library offers Freegal. This includes anyone in the Mid-Continent Public Library or Johnson County Public Library service areas.

2. Log onto Freegal through your library’s website. (Here are the links for our local libraries: Mid-Continent and Johnson County.)

3. Watch the video below for tips on how to find and download songs. Enjoy!

Have you used Freegal? Encountered any problems? Please leave a comment below, and we’ll try to figure out how to get you access to this service.

Kansas City Jazz: Charlie Parker

charlie parkerMiles Davis once said that the history of jazz could be summed up in four words: “Louie Armstrong. Charlie Parker.” How cool is it that the second half refers to a musician who grew up here in Kansas City?

Charlie Parker was born in Kansas City, KS and raised in Kansas City, MO. He attended Lincoln High School, the only high school for black children in KCMO at the time, but his tenure there was brief, as he joined the local musicians union at the age of 15.

Parker spent a lot of time practicing here in KC. He was undoubtedly influenced by the bands led by Bennie Moten and Count Basie. He started playing saxophone at age 11, and by the late 1930s, he was practicing up to 15 hours each day. In 1938, he joined Jay McShann’s territory band, which took him to venues across the country and brought about his first professional recording.

Parker moved to New York City in 1939 at the age of 19, and it was there that his career blossomed and died. During the fertile stage, Parker discovered the freedom in using the chromatic scale in improvisation, a musical innovation that eventually led to a whole new style that became known as bebop. Parker collaborated with many well-known musicians, including Dizzy Gillespie, Miles Davis, Max Roach, and Charlie Mingus. His recording with a string section – with the entirely appropriate name “Charlie Parker With Strings” -  was groundbreaking in its own right, representing the first time a composer of bebop was matched with a string orchestra.

Unfortunately, Charlie Parker had already acquired a cocaine addiction as a teenager, following a car wreck that left him hospitalized. His addiction eventually turned to heroine, and Parker’s career was undoubtedly hindered by his erratic behavior and financial troubles stemming from his addiction. He even resorted to pawning his saxophones for drug money at times – sad news for any musician. Parker’s addiction certainly contributed to his death at the age of 34. One can only imagine the creative work that could have happened if Parker had had access to treatment for his addiction in those years.

In any case, Parker did leave a substantial musical legacy. Two songs representing the strides he made in the jazz world include “Ornithology” and “Yardbird Suite.” You might take a listen to those two tracks on YouTube to get a sense for our hometown boy’s unique musical style.

You might also notice that those two song titles point back to the nickname Charlie Parker acquired early in his career: “Yardbird” or simply “The Bird.” Where did that name come from? Check out this article for some speculation. Many of the ideas connect to the Bird’s Kansas City days.

Are you a fan of Charlie Parker? What do you think of his style of music? Leave your comments below!